Day 357

I find myself listening to songs and relating the lyrics to me and you. I smile, I reminisce, I cry, and my heart is bitter sweet.

My mind has moved forward but left my heart behind. My rational has convinced me but my emotions are in disarray. So I'm left standing in the middle of no where because there is no context, no pretenses, no future and no certainty.

The fine line gets thinner and my steps get clumsier. When will I fall? There is no doubt in my mind that I will. I only wonder how many pieces I will be able to pick up when it all shatters magnificently into thousands of little bits.

Day 315

Today was a good day... well technically yesterday was a good day. I've been toughing it out this week emotionally and it was a refreshing change to have a pick me up. I had an eventful lunch with new and old friends. Hilarious conversations and awkward moments abound. I love it when it gets awkward. Strange I know.

The thing that made my day though was that someone gave me their number. It was very flattering but I tend to think guys that give their numbers out to girls are players. Anyhow, I'm recording this because I want to recall it in the future when I'm old and grey.

He was a cute guy in his mid-twenties with good hair. Obviously I checked him out being the hot blooded woman that I am. (I know... so bad -__-) Then I noticed the writing on his shirt and read it out loud. It said, "Call me when you're drunk," and I laughed...(Some might call it a giggle.) He gave me a shy thumbs up and smiled sheepishly. Being the witty person that I am (ha!) I said, "But we don't know your number." I was pleased when he chuckled and then he went back to his seat. When he left I noticed him and we happened to make eye contact. Being oh so polite I smiled and waved while he gave me the standard nod. (No, I wasn't being creepy, I just happened to be seated at the entrance so it was only natural for me to notice. He was tall and therefore stood out okay!) But to my pleasant surprise after two minutes he came back in the restaurant and handed me his recite with his number written on the back. Smiled and left. Amidst the stunned company I was keeping I stammered a thank you.

For one reason or another this encounter lifted my spirits and made me smile. So thank you kind stranger whom I might never call. :) I don't think you said a word to me but you made my day.

Day 10

Sunday afternoon walks are luxurious and rare events. The perfect ingredients are hard to come by especially when we have no control. Today we were given one of those beautiful days where the sun is brilliant, the sky is tranquil, the wind is gentle and the air crisp. None of us had pressing matters to attend to and nature lured us into her land.

We are very fortunate to live near a valley in the middle of a bustling city. Its like a completely different world and it is a nice reprieve. We took lots of pictures and rambled through the scenery. It was simply lovely.

Day 6

Isn't it nice when little things in life give you joy? I love daily routines that become habitual and yet they are so enjoyable in their own easy going way. Like taking the bus or walking through your neighborhood. That slice of familiarity and the stead fastness of those scenes and events are very dear to me.

Today I took the subway with my father. That moment when I turn around to wave before the door closes between us and I call out "bye dad" is infinitely sweet to me. I don't really know why but those are the moments I want to document and remember.

End of Wendy-verse report.

Day 2

It has been a year. I don’t have many memories of him.

He wasn’t a remarkable man. He wasn’t a hard worker, nor was he a good husband. He wasn’t a loving father or a doting grandfather. He lived his life quietly and alone but he was content in his own way.

I remember waiting for literally hours for him to get ready in the bathroom as a child. He was always tardy but took great care of his appearance. He liked to collect old newspapers in the corner of his living room for reasons unknown to me. Above his favourite spot in his house was a great big yellow stain from the years of cigarette smoke that he emitted. He had a religious routine that he followed every day.  

He gave me a pen that he bought from the dollar store with a colourful yarn once. It was suppose to light up but the batteries were dead before I even opened the package. It was one of the two items he ever gave to me. I still have it.  

I don’t harbour resentment or hatred to this man because I haven’t spent much time with him. He lived miles away from me and back then, it might as well be another world. Perhaps it’s because of this that I still think of him fondly and I dutifully love him with a little part of me.

I wish I knew you better grandfather.

 

End of Wendy-verse report.